If you are not scared you are not taking a chance?

I went out to the local bars last night with Shy guy and friends.  I was dancing with one friend when it became noticeable that a girl across the room was looking at me with eyes that could wound more than the sharpest dagger.  I didn't know this girl, was wearing nothing that was provocative and doing nothing other than dancing but still her dirty looks and obvious whispering about me to her friends leaned toward her having a problem with me.

At first I thought I was being paranoid but no, her actions had been noted by others.  I am such a total wuss and hate confrontation of any kind and also get upset at the thought that people don't like me or that I am not good enough..  I so wish I was more like this and could adopt a 'f' you' approach:



My best friend once said that being scared is a way of letting you know that you are on to something important - if you are not scared then you are not taking a chance, and if you are not taking a chance - what the hell are you doing?  She was on about bagging the guy but  I thought of what she said and tried to adopt it to my situation - I wasn't scared but then I wasn't comfortable so what was the 'important' bit and what was I taking a chance on?  Well I wasn't going to take a chance on playing the opponent in a girlie battle that was for sure and I certainly didn't feel important, the opposite in fact.  I sometimes think that some sayings that are passed down to us are pointless - a party of words designed to make us feel better but actually really prove no purpose at all.

I decided to take a chance on being safe and left the bar and I guess being onto something important - I had a lesson in not everyone is nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh what fun it is to..................

Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Christmas Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying in vain to find a parking space at the shopping centre, driving around the car park until we see a shopper emerge and walk toward their vehicle, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space.  Once inside the stores we are subjected to music that blares out peace and goodwill messages - clearly oblivious to the barging and shoving and elbows in faces as the shoppers race for pole position in the queue for the tills.  With regard to Carols, clearly Santa got stuck up the bloody chimney in my home as I'm left to do the Christmas shopping or in my case handing over large quantities of money to purchase gifts that the recipients won't like, need or want - I think I've got it so wrong this year:(  Gold, frankincense and myrrh - oh why can't present shopping be that bloody easy now?

I am trying to get into the festive spirit - maybe I need some 'spirit' - where is that vodka?  Today I am going to do my December workout, wrestling with Christmas wrap and sticky tape and ribbon, losing my rag as I struggle to wrap with perfection my gifts.  I figure that if they look good on the outside it will compensate for what lies underneath the paper.

Bah humbug - I need to go and suck another mint;)

A trip out from work

Today I fell over arse over elbows - in the middle of the road and in dramatic fashion and FYI I was fully sober.  It's been years since I've had skinned knees.  Each time I've been broken-hearted I've wished I could revert back to childhood when the only pain I suffered was skinned knees.  Stupid me - my knees are as sore as hell not to mention the rest of my body - a broken heart seems less painful.

No one rescued me but chances are some idiot has filmed me and I'm now on youtube or similar!  Where are all the goodwill citizens - it is Christmas time afterall!!

I had to spend the entire work day with dirty, badly scuffed trousers and top and suffering in pain - yes get your violins out - this girl needs sympathy!

It wouldn't have been so bad if a hunky guy had been nearby and I could've used the excuse that I was 'falling for him' but no - just me and general Joe Pleb.  It also wasn't an 'icy day' and I was wearing super sensible boots - I just had clumsyitis - actually I was doing the usual K rushing/stressing thing - nm.

Anyway home safe and sound now to bathe my wounds lol and to online shop for more work trousers.  I can't have an accident doing that at least - or can I? :)

Flush the demons away

We all lose control at times and these present in different ways.  I lost control earlier and was overcome by a compulsion.  We all have demons, mine just decided to present themselves today.  I guess:

The courage to be is the courage to accept oneself, in spite of being unacceptable. ~Paul Tillich

We all have the ability to find courage and not let the BULly wIn.  That's My Initiative Anyway x

HIS CAT :(

My Kitty Prayer

Because I’m only human, it’s sometimes hard to be

the wise, all-knowing creature that his cat expects of me.

And so I wish for special help, to somehow understand

the subtle implications of each meowed command.

Oh, let me not forget that hairs don’t stay on its head

and what I like to call a lap is actually a bed.

The awful aroma from its vomit and poo

And to think I was supposed to, with it, share my loo.

The love for her master of which I can’t compete

Yet I have to put up with her twirling round my feet.

I know that I come second to a ball of fur

Maybe I need to swap my mumbling for that of a purr.

I know it’s really lots to ask but please, oh please, take pity

and though I’m only human, help me like his kitty!

A job worthwhile to make me smile

No, really!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay so I've only been in this job since Monday and so it's early days but so far I am an advert for McDonalds - 'I'm lovin it!'

For many people a job is more than an income – it's an important part of who we are. So a career transition of any sort is one of the most unsettling experiences you can face in your life.  However for me it is so far the best decision I've made.  Choices are the hinges of our destiny and up until now my hinges have been so rusty that the path to destiny has been thwarted.

Good decisions come from experience and experience comes from bad decisions.  I reckon I therefore am super experienced in most aspects of life ;)

At the moment my life is looking up - about time :)



Happiness does happen :)

Brotherly Love x

For once I don't have a broken heart - this time it is my bro who has one and I hate it!  When we were kids I helped my Mom look after him as I was big sis and that was my job:).  When I was little an elastoplast and a 'magic' kiss and hug mended everything.  As we grow past the skinned knee stage most of us experience the shattering and splintering effects of a broken heart caused by lost love - unfortunately no elastoplast or magic rub can take away this kind of pain.

I know my bro will be fine 'cus he's stronger than me and will move on for the sake of his daughter (he's an amazing Dad)!  As a hip-hop fan - I am signing out of this post with a quote from TUPAC the relevance is there: