I'm a Nike girl

I am a 'Nike girl'.  My entire sports clothing has a Nike label - shorts, t-shirts, trousers, trainers - you name it, Nike.  Yeah Nike uses advanced technology in its products, and it's clothing designs meet all sporting requirements.  However, that is not why I buy Nike.  Yes I am a bit of a 'label snob' and wearing Nike does make me look good - well when I am out running and my hair is plastered to my head in a blob and the mascara has dripped down my face and I'm all sweaty (so attractive - NOT!), I need all the help I can get in 'looking good', but this is not the reason I buy Nike.

I buy Nike for the logo, the 'tick'.  I never used to get many 'ticks' at school, usually red crosses - but Nike guarantee a tick everytime, no matter if I am crap at sport or not, or anything else for that matter.  So this girl doesn't look for other brands 'cus she wears the 'tick' that says that she is okay and doing it right;-)

So are you a Nike guy or girl?

Can't sing for toffee

I would do lots for toffee as am seriously addicted to the sugary stuff. Whilst I would 'sing for toffee' as the saying goes, 'I can't sing for toffee!'

Again this is my Mom who fed me such lies as a child;-)told me that 'practice makes perfect'. I've been practising most of each part of the day for 39years with no improvement :).

I've tried to convince myself that I can sing well and have drawn up an impressive list of reasons why I didn't sound good that particular time. It's ironic 'cus I could never think of bloody good reasons for not handing my homework in on time at school - nm - these include - hairbrush defect (well don't you pretend your hairbrush is a microphone), global warming (the atmosphere isn't conducive to my voice) etc. (you are so impressed with these - admit it ;).

So the reality really is that 'practice doesn't make perfect' - so therefore - if at first you don't succeed - throw in the towel, life is too short to keep trying (unless it's a sexy guy you're trying to get a date with;) ).

I think I need to educate my niece on not listening to her Nan (my Mom) before she grows up deluded like me;)

He's my love for ever more;-)

I have an attention span poorer than a flea.  I can't sit still for toffee (oh and I AM a toffee addict ;-) ).  However, sit me in front of the sea and I can sit there all day long, staring into the horizon.  At this point I'd like to be able to tell you something really profound and intellectual such as: 'Within life’s journey we all experience times of storm and calm; these may be emotional experiences, may result from specific combinations of circumstances. These experiences are often beyond our control and so we benefit from learning how to cope at their heights and how to remember their transitory nature'.  The ocean for me is all that emotions embody, the calm and rough but amongst it all I feel at ease, at peace.

Ok ok - well yeah the above is true and I do feel like that - but I am a girl and (here to blame my Mom again - bless her xx).  Along with the fairytales, she sang me endless nursery rhymes.  I remember having one particular nursery rhyme book (and I had many) and was mesmorised by the image of the cute guy that adorned the page (yeah I started the guy fascination thing young;-) ).  Then I learned that: 'he was going to come back from sea and marry me'.  God this was so easy - it stated in black and white that this guy had gone to sea but was going to come back and marry me.  I was going to be his wife - my life planned and sorted:).  As I grew older the image of him (well he didn't float my boat (pardon the pun) and again that's down to my Mom who introduced me to the film, 'An Officer and a Gentleman' - well the white naval uniform - if I was gonna marry a guy that went to see, please let him look like Richard Gere in his whites (and yes I know that he was a naval aviator in the film before you all call me so thick !!!!!!! ).  I guess the image of the guy who was at sea but gonna marry me, dressed in tattered trousers and striped t-shirt didn't set my heart poundind and saying, 'OMG - WOW!'  However, I could imagine that he'd battled with great waves and sharks and other stuff - all for me - WHAT A HERO - who needs bloody Prince Charming? So okay - his name is Bobby - not quite the Chad, Schuyler - you know the romantic (ok - American sounding !!!!!!!)name I was after - and did I really want to be, 'Mrs Shaftoe'? (yeah guys I can imagine the rude jokes;-) ) but hey can I afford to be too picky?

I am lucky enough not to live far from Weymouth, a beautiful English coastal town and whilst we tend not to have 'Summer', on those rare 'summer days', I head to the sea and sit staring at the ocean.  Most think I have a fascination with the waves and boats and stuff, me - well I know that I am waiting for my hero to come and marry me (it was in black and white) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's just numbers...........

I am sure I have 'dyscalcula'.  I've never understood numbers.  Maths has always been a subject that I've tried to understand but failed miserably, pretty much the same has happened with my understanding of guys.  I am not dense by any means and words and spelling always came easy, but numbers they terrify me.  The above drawing is a prime example of what I'd have written in my maths exam (ok partly to take the 'P', partly 'cus I am a literal thinker and partly 'cus that's about as good as my understanding gets).  I mean 'Pi' = okay - I spell it with an (e) ending but isn't that a foodie item that makes girls fat?  Also 'cos' - it's a bloody holiday destination isn't it?  What the hell do they have to do with numbers?

Pythagoras clearly needed to get a life as he spent way too much time on that triangle drawing - clearly he couldn't get a girlfriend - God can you imagine a date with him - choosing movie snacks - you wanting to share his popcorn bucket whilst he was getting turned on by the triangle shaped toblerone bar:(.

Well I have to say that algebra (and yeah this is a maths term and not some African animal) has proved to serve no purpose whatsoever in my life.  I have no idea as to why I sat in maths class.  Actually if I remember rightly - in my last two years of high school, I completed one page in my maths book as sat at the back of the room chatting to two lads (well I am a girl !!!!!!!!!!!).

So maybe I  can't add up but I can do the necessary sums:

1 + 1 = me and you

isn't that all I need to know?

there you go - maybe maths wasn't a total waste of my life - oh my parents must be so proud;-)

How many girls?

'How many girls does it take to change a lightbulb?'  Yeah we've all heard the joke and the punchline being - 'None, why bother?'  ha ha - NOT !!!!!!!  The reality is though (well for me) - I can change a lightbulb and I can change the washers on my taps and thanks to my Dad and Brother, am quite competent at lots of DIY tasks that stereotypically girls can't do.  However, do you think I can take the bloody cover off my smoke alarm? NO!!!




HELP !!!!!!!!! the beeping that my smoke alarm sounds at regular intervals to impatiently draw my attention to the fact it needs a new battery is doing my head in!!

I stood on the step ladders to reach the ceiling, armed with numerous sized batteries.  The wording on the cover read: 'Turn (with an arrow) to remove cover'.  Easy enough - you'd think?  Well - NO!!!!!!!!  I've turned every which way but it still stays stuck to the ceiling as though taunting me with, 'ha ha'. 

I'm trying to remain calm - perhaps I will get used to the beeping (create a ditty tune to it) - why stress? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!  I am heading to ASDA Walmart in a minute, cotton wool for my ears is looking a must.  I hate to admit it but I so need a guy right now (and to my best friend - before you can give a witty response - I don't need him for the reason you think;-) !!!!!!!!!!! ). 

So I've just moaned but have no solution, apart from the cotton wool and surely that's temporary?  At this rate I'm gonna commit murder to my smoke alarm !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  So how many girls does it take to CHANGE A BATTERY IN A SMOKE ALARM?  None - why bother - if you are all as useless as me - don't even attempt it ;-) !

Once in an ordinary life.........

I used to think that fairytales didn’t happen to girls like me
And everything that those stories represent were purely fantasy
I used to joke that ‘Prince Charming’ was a totally useless guy
And thoughts that I hoped he’d come my way, I’d vehemently deny
I’d blame my Mom for reading me all those stupid tales,
For making me believe that this character was the epitome of all males
My own personal ‘love story’ had long ago worked out this was untrue
‘cus surely Prince Charming would never lie and cheat and leave you black and blue
To be fair I have fallen for some decent guys along the way
But the calibre of a fairytale Prince, their actions did never portray
So I’d resigned myself to the fact that this character did not really exist
And accepted that my own fairy story was just a fairytale with a cruel twist
But then once in an ordinary life, you happened to appear
Just when I thought that everything was going so bad this year
You showed me that ‘Once upon a time’ was the ending of our first begin
And sent an orchestra playing in my head, with my own personal violin
You showed me that love can appear from a rare and unexpected friend
And that our hearts, and minds and souls were that perfect fairytale blend
You made me believe in an instant that dreams really can come true
‘cus I know that I don’t need Prince Charming becaue I've the perfect guy in you
I never really believed in the whole soul mate thing
And never thought my heart again would ever joyously sing
You’ve bought a smile to my face, and filled my heart with laughter
I’m keeping my fingers crossed, but believe you’re my ‘happily ever after’

by me x

Am I human?

This post isn't about whether I am a 'morning person' or not.  For the record I am - I'm the girl that wakes with a bolt, jumps out of bed and goes into hyper mode lol.  Singing at 5a.m. would probably annoy you lol.  No - this post is about the transformation from feeling non-human to human.  WTF? - OK - I will explain.  I have friends that get up, have a wash, throw on their clothes, grab a coffee and out the door.  Me - yeah I wake and am super hyper but I don't feel 'human' unless I've had a morning bath or shower.  Infact, if I don't my whole day is spent in disarray and I just feel scrubby and ratty and yuk!  How do you guys do this?  Apart from anything, my hair looks better washed in a morning and re-styled (well my attempt at styling) lol.  Admittedly most of my friends are no longer single, so technically don't have to worry about whether they look hot or not, but even so, single or in a relationship, I feel scrubby without my morning bath/shower (and preferably a bath).  I used to thing that guys were more prone to the 'get up and go' ethos but actually girlies are also doing this - maybe I am not human?

Am I a mystery?

My parents uttered the above to me last week.  I have a really good relationship with both but admit that I don't tell them a 1/4 of what goes on or has gone on in my life.  They say that life can only be understand backwards, but lived forwards.  I guess therefore if they understood some of my past, they'd see why I choose to live the way I do now.  I guess I'm learning how past stuff has had a huge influence on my present, I also know that I am only going to let the 'good' parts influence my future.  With regard to 'I don't get you' - those that do know me (and know all about me) - well they say I'm easy to read - and like anygirl - the answers are often found in my eyes.  I was quite hurt that people may not 'get me' but then I read:

'The mysterious is always attractive. People will always follow a vail.'

So maybe it's not that bad being a mystery and plus 'mystery stories' tend to grip the reader and keep their attention - so maybe I don't want everyone to 'get me' (unless it's a sexy guy) lol :)

Sometimes it's hard being a friend

Sometimes it's hard when your friend is so upset and unhappy but there is nothing you can do:

To my friend:




She’s sitting alone, thinking of everything you’ve said
The cruel words you used so maliciously lay heavy in her head.
The girl who would give up the world for you is now filling up with tears
She’s lonely, vulnerable and afraid and battling with her fears
You’ve played on her vulnerability and lowered her self-esteem
Yet you know she will forgive you, and for that I want to scream
I can see so much in her of how I used to be
The way I let guys lie and cheat and abuse and bully me
The way that I would convince myself that I was the one to blame
Whilst they paraded round with their heads held high and never a glint of shame
I want to shake her and tell her not let her heart rule her head
Tell her that she’s worth so much more, but instead I leave those words unsaid
‘cus I know no matter what I say, she can’t ‘hear’ those words I want to scream
‘cus she’s so besotted with him, the guy whose in her every dream
So I’ll bite my tongue and hope and pray that she’ll see this isn’t what love should be about
But she needs to come to that conclusion, and needs to figure that out
Until that moment I’ll be there for her, to listen and understand
And be the bestest friend I can, to hug and hold her hand
‘cus sometimes we have to accept that our friends have the right to choose
What path they take through life, even if we don’t share their views
So I’ll wear my best smile ‘cus that’s what friends are for
And like all my friends, she is someone I very much adore.

by me

OMG - YEAH - I get to see my dream guy:)

I have a CONFESSION



'Hi - My name is Karen and I have a celebrity crush'



My bessie mate describes me as: 'Tigger on LSD' as sometimes I can be 'super bouncey and hyper' lol.



Well today I am super super bouncey 'cus I'VE GOT TICKETS TO SEE USHER IN CONCERT - OMG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so excited and most of you will know that he has me so 'CAUGHT UP' and I'm going to get to see him - yeah!!!!!!!! I do realise you are all 'WTF it's USHER - do we give a s**t!' but I don't care, 'cus today I am super happy and no-one is gonna ruin that' - SO DON'T BLOODY TRY;-)

The new 'designer labels' FAT = THIN

Images of womens bodies are everywhere.  Women’s magazines are full of articles urging that if they can just lose those last twenty pounds, they’ll have it all—the perfect marriage, loving children, great sex, and a rewarding career.  Fashion designers are making 'super skiiny' jeans in which matchstick thin legs are a necessity - women are being hit with these images constantly and led to believe that anything less than 'perfect' is FAILURE.  The pressure to reach 'perfection' is leading to labels that are now becoming more sought after than Armani, Gucci or Prada - maybe you've heard of them or have them in your closet - you know the ones I mean:

Anorexia

Bulimia

Binge Eating

I am waiting for the new season labels to come in:

OKNOTTOBEPERFECT

YOULOOKSEXYWHATEVER

and

FATISTHENEWTHIN

Please both guys and girls support these new labels 'cus the current ones destroy lives !!!!!!!!!!!!!

To my online friends :-) thank you :-)

To all my 'cyber' friends who have watched my back today and stood up for me and supported me - thank you - you're all the bestest friends and I hope that one day we can all meet up and PAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY !!!!!!!!!!

To the guy who hurt me today ...... (he was a stranger)

You sent an email to me today

The content chipped my self-esteem away

The words they cut deeper than any blade

But these words can’t be healed with the use of a band-aid

Why did you choose to hurt me so?

With words that shook me like some turbulent flow

You are a stranger that doesn’t know anything about me

Yet you chose to make fun of what you thought you could see

Did you not think that my self-image could be low?

Or was it your own insecurity that you wanted to let go?

Words have the power to destroy peoples’ lives

‘cus they cut deeper than the blades on the sharpest knives!

by me

Things we never grow out of

My childhood has influenced much of my life. I am lucky I have fantastic parents and had a childhood with wonderful memories. There are certain things from my childhood that are still with me, the fantasty of the fairytale, the urge to run down a hill or spin around on the spot until I am dizzy. One thing that I know I will never grow out of is the yummy taste of:
Farley's Baby Rusks




Eaten as a biscuit or mixed with hot milk, so scrummy. I know my bessie mates husband is also a huge fan - I guess some of us are just big kids by heart;-)

Wash that guy away as they say lol

Right - I've just had a bath - whilst washing my hair for some reason I started singing:



you mean you don't sing in the shower/bath? Rubbish lol! Well really what a stupid song - if I was to 'wash that guy right out of my hair' then I'd be:
A) CONSTANTLY WASHING MY HAIR
B) SPENDING EXCESSIVE AMOUNTS ON SHAMPOO

and how does a guy get in your hair? - in your head yeah I can understand - do I think too much? - lol

The Perfect Girl

I have perfectionism which is common in women. I used to believe that guys would only ever look my way if I was 'perfect' but then I started to think about 'perfect'. What is perfect, who is the perfect girl? Well I came up with the answer. Isn't this the perfect girl?



Well as far as I am aware, you have to 'buy' Barbie a guy and friends - so she can't be that special. Also, Barbie's guy has plastic balls, like that is what every 'real' girl hopes for - NOT!!!!!!!!!! So I've decided if guys want a perfect girl then they can go and buy a barbie doll, 'cus I aint perfect - I'm just 'me' and that's all I ever can be :-)

It's only the fairytale....

'Fairytales do come true' - the biggest lie my Mom ever told me:-(. I was raised on fairytales and grew up believing that every guy was a Prince and that I was going to get swept off my feet, carried off into the sunset to live 'happily ever after' - well where is 'happily ever after' 'cus my bloody sat nav can't find it:-(.

I don't think there is one single person that knows the following fact about me. I have no idea why I've never told anyone (now you are all waiting in anticpation of some juicy fact, is she a secret lap dancer, a lady of the night etc... sorry to disappoint but that's something I do well (disappoint I mean);-) but the fact is:
I love anime art especially illustrations that reflect love. I guess despite knowing that fairytales don't happen to girls like me, I still have the dream that one day my Prince will come. Well this video is listed at the top of my favourites and is both anime and fairytale related:

Enjoy

h

Marshmallow Heart

Have you ever had to try and smile whilst fighting back tears? It's the hardest thing ever. Someone told me something today and although my 'head' is so pleased at their 'news', my 'heart' feels as though it has been ripped out, chewed up and spat somewhere as the new 'circumstances' will mean I will get less time with this person.

I am also so cross with myself for being selfish, I don't do selfish, and yes I am happy 'cus this persons happiness means the world to me but it's hard too - hard when the one person that makes me smile so much is the same person that's making me feel sad.

So I faked a smile (which I can do with perfection) and tied the tear ducts so no external feature would appear 'sad' but my insides were like melting marshmallows.

I've since had time to reflect and I truly am delighted for this person and I guess my sadness will fly away on the wings of time:-). Maybe I am not so selfish afterall? And I am sure all my US friends will agree that Marshmallow fluff is lush :-)so maybe having a marshmallow heart isn't that bad;-)

It's pants !

Just read the following on the net (yes I need to get a life;-) )

'If a girl's bra or pants should suddenly slip down this is a sign that someone who loves her is thinking of her; and, if two or more holes should appear in any of these items then tradition says the owner can expect a gift very shortly'.



What 'girl' does that statement refer to? I for one don't wear knickers with holes in (I mean you can buy knickers for £2 a pair if you wanted so there should be NO excuse for wearing unattractive knickers). Secondly if they slip down then I reckon this 'girl' is either after some 'love action' or again has poor underwear, 'cus sounds to me like the elastic has gone in both her bra and knickers.

Maybe the 'gift' is new undies;-)Maybe this comment was written by a guy who is hoping some girls knickers and bra will slip etc....Either way - don't you think this comment is pants;-)

I've only just begun:-)

I guess those who truly know me know why I've added this vid to my blog:-)

ALL BECAUSEIAMAGIRL

If I asked you what word enters your head when you think of me,
Would that be easy to do, or am I too contradictory?
For you to name just the one word,
Is that plausible or simply absurd?
Do thoughts of me make you smile or frown,
Do I drive you so mad that you’re on the point of a nervous break down?
Or do I enchant you and make you smile,
And help make your days seem so worthwhile?
I know at times I can annoy and send your head in a swirl,
But it’s ‘ALL BECAUSEIAMAGIRL;-)

I'm poorly today :-(

I don’t feel very well today
My body’s in a state of disarray
I’m hot to the touch and have the shivers and shakes
My head hurts and my body aches

I’ve tried my Mom’s remedies for fighting a bug
But all I really need is a cuddle and a hug
Well her hugs always made me feel better as a child
In fact it was everything she did, especially the way she smiled

She still looks after me to this day
Even though from her I live many miles away
She’s always on the end of the phone
‘cus my need for my Mom will never be outgrown

Well I’m miles from her now and so have tucked myself up in my bed
In an attempt to ease the pain inside my head
I’ve downed the hot lemon and the pills for the flu
Oh god is that a sneeze, ah ah ah choo!

This is all I need; I’ve got plans for the week,
Including shopping with my friend to our town’s new boutique
Maybe if I sleep, I’ll be better in no time,
Well I guess I’ll go try, so I’ll now finish this rhyme.

bubble wrap and guys - 'cus 'therapy is expensive, bubble wrap is cheap:-)

Bubble wrap - I so love popping all those bubbles :-) Not only only is it fun but it's time-killing and useless too. Actually that kinds of sums up SOME of the guys who have entered my life (I have been fortunate to have met some great guys, hence the 'SOME'). Maybe popping the bubbles is kinda girl therapy, each bubble representing something they said or did that hurt me, but that I've never been able to talk or get angry about - maybe I just have a wicked;-) streak lol, or maybe I just like to have fun ;-).

Well for all those girlies who want 'therapy' - check this out:

http://www.surfnetkids.com/games/bubble_wrap_simulator.htm

I AM IN EVERYONE'S DREAMS (MORE LIKE NIGHTMARES ;-) )

So the above means that insomniacs must be very special people and in lots of peoples dreams, as they are awake most of the time. I've fallen into a poor sleeping pattern of late. My Mom believes the only cause ever for not sleeping is that something or someone must be on my mind. It can't possibly be because I am addicted to drinking strong black coffee;-).

Well as far as I know I don't have 'something' on my mind, so if my Mom's theory is correct then I must have 'someone' on my mind. According to the quote above, I may be on someone's mind. Wouldn't it be good if the person that was on my mind was the same person whose mind I was on? lol.

To be fair if there was someone on my mind, chances are that if I am on their mind they are thinking, 'She so does my head in!;-)'

Anyway next time you can't sleep 'cus of the umpteen plausible reasons that exist, forget all those - as my Mom and I have cracked the theory:-)

I am 'gender useless'

For those that know me, you'll know that my 'Apple iPods' and me are inseperable. Well I thought I'd treat myself to a new 'docking station' so that I can introduce my neighbours to 'Usherworld' (I am so not selfish;-)).

Pleased with my purchase 'cus the guy in the store told me it was the latest in technology and I would be making a huge mistake if I did not buy it (yeah I know that that was smarmy sales talk)but actually it does look impressive and is a quality make, and a bargain to boot (it was on offer) :-)

Note: to my male friend who is also an 'APPLE' obsessed fan like me (he knows who he is) - you'd be impressed with my purchase:-) - Note to everyone else: This same guy knows I am useless at technology and had to set up this blog template for me, to which I am so grateful (I know the rest of you aren't as you are now subjected to the rubbish I write - lol)

Anyway, I got it home, unpacked it (moaned at the polysterene bits the packaging had made over my hoovered carpet) and set it on the table. Plugged it in, loaded the ipod and - NOTHING.

No sound:-(. I pressed every button and pressed them again but still no sound. I changed the battery in the remote control, still no sound. Gutted :-(. My friend came to visit, but technology is wasted on her, she doesn't even own an iPod and just looked at my docking station and said, 'Oh I don't know how it works' - great help she was/is - NOT! ;-)

Did I take it back to the shop? Maybe it was faulty? - I pondered what I should do, but the fact that my pride would take a beating if it was actually me that was 'super thick', rather than a technical fault was the deciding factor as not to return it. I grabbed the manual (well hardly a manual - a sheet of paper) and read and re-read and followed the instructions step by step (all becauseiamagirl). Still nothing - still no sound:-(. I decided that okay there was no sound, but it looked bloody good so I'd settle with that. Well that thought lasted 5mins, I wanted the sound!!!

Well I decided I'd hunt a guy down (not literally, that would make me a guy eater (that's my secret life - lol;-). I packed it up and took it to a guy whom I knew would be able to help (he's an electrician so technical things should be a breeze). He plugged it in and literally in 2 seconds, sound was blaring out of my docking station. 'You needed to press 'PLAY' on your iPod', he smugly said. 'NO!' I replied, 'cus why would there be a remote control?' Well after my, 'and before you ask, yes there is a battery in it - I checked!' (just to save face), he replied, 'Maybe if you'd have put the battery in the right way'.

So I am 'gender useless' - technology is clearly a guy thing. There is clearly no cure for me:-(. Thank God for guys (God I said that- HELP - I need saving !!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Jar of Hearts - Who has collected your heart? I know which guys collected the pieces of mine :-(

Thank you to a really cool American guy who introduced me to this song:-)

My 'dream' guy :-) - 'cus every girl needs a dream :-)

Okay - so I've not grown out of the dream that one day Usher will be my husband - but then that is the magic of a 'dream' guy - he can be anything and everything that I want him to be.  Plus you know what they say about guys who can dance;-)

Cheeky girl ;-)

This is what 'my friends' are for :-) - both my 'in the flesh' and 'cyber' friends :-)

I was the girl - but I am stronger now and know I am worth so much more :-)

I was the girl whose eyes are what made him fall

I was the girl he told he wanted for the long haul

I was the girl he said he dreamed of at night

I was the girl that he wanted to hold so tight

I was the girl that enticed him with wit

I was the girl who played hard to get, but he never did quit

I was the girl that drove him so wild

I was the girl whom he said hoped would give birth to his child

I was the girl that he said melted his heart

I was the girl whom he said he’d never part

I was the girl he said was as cute as can be

I was the girl he said filled him with glee

I was the girl who he spun the above lie

I was the girl whose eyes he made cry

I was the girl that believed all he said

I was the girl who let him into her bed

I was the girl who was stupid and naive

I was the girl who wore her heart on her sleeve

I AM THE GIRL WHO IS WORTH SO MUCH MORE THAN HIM

I AM THE GIRL EVERY GUY SHOULD HOPE TO WIN !!!!!!!!!!!!!

A toast to my friends

In two different towns my best friends reside,

So I can’t always be by each of their side.

But I want them all to know in times that I can’t be there

That for each of them I truly care

I love each one for how they make me feel

And I know our friendship is truly real

I hope they gain something from me in return

And I hope our friendship they never choose to adjourn

The laughter and tears that we exchange

And gossip and moans we interchange

The outings, the coffees and all the fun

Make my life shine brighter than any sun

We know that whatever difficulties we face

We can count on each other’s warm embrace

‘cus that’s what happens when you truly are friends

On each other you can always depend

So I’m thanking each of mine as I close this post

Cheers to my friends, raise your glasses to this toastJ

He made me giggle :-)

My best friend (female) is a designer label snob and has this brand name obsession.  Recently we were out shopping (as bessie mates do) and she was proudly wearing her new t-shirt with 'GUESS' sprawled across her chest.  Her bag strategically placed so that 'GUESS' was visible at all times.

Anyway - coffee break called and we grabbed seats in the coffee shop.  We were approached by two guys who clearly thought their luck would be in (sorry guys but our hearts weren't with you).  One guy, out of the blue, said: '36D', to which I replied: 'Sorry?' (I mean was this some new coffee brand - not a clue what he was on about).  He again said: '36D or maybe 38D'.  I think he cottoned on to the blank expressions sprawled across our faces (and NO - neither my friend or I are blonde;-), and said bra size.  He looked at my friend and said: 'Your t-shirt says, 'GUESS' across the chest so I guessed you wanted me to make a guess at your bra size.

I couldn't help it - I tried to stifle the giggle 'cus her face was like thunder.  Seriously she was so proud of 'the' t-shirt that morning and clearly mortified that the guy hadn't made some remark to indicate she had 'good taste', but chose to take the 'p***' in a nice way;-) - but I couldn't help it and the giggle spread and became infectious and myself and these two guys were laughing non-stop.

My friend and I left the coffee shop and she raced into a 'high street brand' store, bought a new t-shirt and wore that for the rest of the day.

She did forgive me lol but credit to the guy who made me laugh that day - I guess guys can be cute ;-).  She's still designer label obsessed, but now avoids any item with wording across the chest;-)

It can't be fixed !!

If it can't be fixed by duct tape or WD-40, it's a female problem.  So how does WD-40 and duct tape work on fixing the broken hearts belonging to all the girls who've been hurt by guys? 

Well in theory WD-40 is designed to 'make things go' - well guys must use it to make their relationships ‘GO’ when they dump the girls who worship them.  The duct tape is traditionally used to 'make things stop' - I guess my local DIY store has run out of duct tape supplies 'cus my heart never ‘STOPS’ getting broken.

So that goes back to: ‘If it can’t be fixed by duct tape or WD-40, it’s a female problem’ as neither produ

cts can mend a girls broken heart and a guy isn’t interested in fixing it !

REALITY CHECK ON FAIRYTALES

Once upon a time....is how it starts
But there's no 'happily ever after', just broken hearts
The fairytale you dream of,
the Prince to sweep you off your feet
REALITY CHECK: men are full of deceit !!!!!!!


They tell you what you want to hear
But all they say is insincere
They are only out for what they can get
REALITY CHECK: you get hurt, pain and all the upset !!!!!!!!!!


'I like you' really means, 'I can't find a clean cup, plate, even my sock drawer',
'You look nice' really means, 'you will do as an object for me to paw!'
'What did I do this time?' really means, 'why did you catch me out?'
REALITY CHECK: its's all lies, without a doubt !!!!!!!!!!!!!


You fall in love and surrender your heart,
But it's never too long before your world falls apart.
The time has come, he wants to say his, 'goodbyes'
REALITY CHECK: he used you and spun you his lies!!!!!!!


He told you he cared so much for you,
But you were never the girl he wanted to pursue,
'I love you so much, but we're just not meant to be'
REALITY CHECK: you meant nothing to him, that I guarantee!!!!!!!!


You felt safe in his arms: he was the man of your dreams,
Then he broke your heart, you're now ripped at the seams.
Kicked aside like a piece of debris,
REALITY CHECK: you are crying inside, he is filled with glee!!!!!!


He got what he wanted: you were useful for a while,
But now things between you are greatly hostile.
He says, 'you know that I'll always remain your friend'
REALITY CHECK: they are just words, it's only pretend !!!!!!!


He can't wait to see the back of you,
You wait for him to phone, but he's not going to!
No to be fair, he'll be nice for a while,
REALITY CHECK: he's making sure you don't tell his next 'girl' he's vile !!!!!!!!


He will tell his new 'girl' you were just someone he was unfortunate to know,
Make jokes that you look like something from a puppet show.
Laugh about you in front of his mates,
REALITY CHECK: he's trying to impress to win more dates !!!!!!!!


So it has come to an end, you have no more heart left to break,
Yet you stupidly wait for him to say, 'I've made a mistake!'
You sit and wait and hope and pray,
REALITY CHECK: fairytales are just a cliche!


by me:-)

'They Say' - he's a guy !

They say that if you love someone you should let them go, but they never say what you should do if they don't come back.


I reckon 'they say' is a guy.  Well what girl would give advice but have no answer to follow it through - guys tell you what you want to hear and - oh - NEVER follow it through.  See the reasoning here?


They say that time heals all wounds and yeah, relatively little time has passed since the big REJECTION, but all it’s done so far is give me more time to think about how much I miss him.  Again 'they say' is a guy, 'cus I can bet he aint missing me.


They say that you learn from your mistakes.  Well all my MISTAKES have been falling in love with guys so I guess it goes to prove that 'they say' is definately a guy !!