Have you ever had to try and smile whilst fighting back tears? It's the hardest thing ever. Someone told me something today and although my 'head' is so pleased at their 'news', my 'heart' feels as though it has been ripped out, chewed up and spat somewhere as the new 'circumstances' will mean I will get less time with this person.
I am also so cross with myself for being selfish, I don't do selfish, and yes I am happy 'cus this persons happiness means the world to me but it's hard too - hard when the one person that makes me smile so much is the same person that's making me feel sad.
So I faked a smile (which I can do with perfection) and tied the tear ducts so no external feature would appear 'sad' but my insides were like melting marshmallows.
I've since had time to reflect and I truly am delighted for this person and I guess my sadness will fly away on the wings of time:-). Maybe I am not so selfish afterall? And I am sure all my US friends will agree that Marshmallow fluff is lush :-)so maybe having a marshmallow heart isn't that bad;-)
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