The perfect death

Oops I reckon I've got it wrong and this time can't blame my Mom !!!!!!!!!!!!!!  My diet consists mainly of 'natural foods'.  The reason I eat such food is to promote good health (well that's what the marketing is telling me).  I rarely eat anything that is considered 'unhealthy' and to be honest I really do love lettuce and such stuff.  I guess I am just really into the 'natural stuff'.

So I guess you're wondering why this is wrong?  Well many of you probably think I am missing out on lush treats like cakes, crisps, burgers etc. and maybe I am but that's not why I reckon I have it wrong.  I have just read an article (I so need to stop surfing the bloody net).  Anyway this article stated that most persons DIE from NATURAL causes, hence me clearly getting my diet wrong - the 'natural' stuff is clearly NOT a positive thing.

What am I to believe - people choke on nuts and die and nuts are natural, but then have you heard of 'death by chocolate'?  What the hell am I supposed to eat?  The answer - my Cadbury's wholenut bar that's chilling in the fridge, the perfect blend of chocolate and nuts - a perfect death :)