If you are not scared you are not taking a chance?

I went out to the local bars last night with Shy guy and friends.  I was dancing with one friend when it became noticeable that a girl across the room was looking at me with eyes that could wound more than the sharpest dagger.  I didn't know this girl, was wearing nothing that was provocative and doing nothing other than dancing but still her dirty looks and obvious whispering about me to her friends leaned toward her having a problem with me.

At first I thought I was being paranoid but no, her actions had been noted by others.  I am such a total wuss and hate confrontation of any kind and also get upset at the thought that people don't like me or that I am not good enough..  I so wish I was more like this and could adopt a 'f' you' approach:



My best friend once said that being scared is a way of letting you know that you are on to something important - if you are not scared then you are not taking a chance, and if you are not taking a chance - what the hell are you doing?  She was on about bagging the guy but  I thought of what she said and tried to adopt it to my situation - I wasn't scared but then I wasn't comfortable so what was the 'important' bit and what was I taking a chance on?  Well I wasn't going to take a chance on playing the opponent in a girlie battle that was for sure and I certainly didn't feel important, the opposite in fact.  I sometimes think that some sayings that are passed down to us are pointless - a party of words designed to make us feel better but actually really prove no purpose at all.

I decided to take a chance on being safe and left the bar and I guess being onto something important - I had a lesson in not everyone is nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh what fun it is to..................

Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Christmas Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying in vain to find a parking space at the shopping centre, driving around the car park until we see a shopper emerge and walk toward their vehicle, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space.  Once inside the stores we are subjected to music that blares out peace and goodwill messages - clearly oblivious to the barging and shoving and elbows in faces as the shoppers race for pole position in the queue for the tills.  With regard to Carols, clearly Santa got stuck up the bloody chimney in my home as I'm left to do the Christmas shopping or in my case handing over large quantities of money to purchase gifts that the recipients won't like, need or want - I think I've got it so wrong this year:(  Gold, frankincense and myrrh - oh why can't present shopping be that bloody easy now?

I am trying to get into the festive spirit - maybe I need some 'spirit' - where is that vodka?  Today I am going to do my December workout, wrestling with Christmas wrap and sticky tape and ribbon, losing my rag as I struggle to wrap with perfection my gifts.  I figure that if they look good on the outside it will compensate for what lies underneath the paper.

Bah humbug - I need to go and suck another mint;)

A trip out from work

Today I fell over arse over elbows - in the middle of the road and in dramatic fashion and FYI I was fully sober.  It's been years since I've had skinned knees.  Each time I've been broken-hearted I've wished I could revert back to childhood when the only pain I suffered was skinned knees.  Stupid me - my knees are as sore as hell not to mention the rest of my body - a broken heart seems less painful.

No one rescued me but chances are some idiot has filmed me and I'm now on youtube or similar!  Where are all the goodwill citizens - it is Christmas time afterall!!

I had to spend the entire work day with dirty, badly scuffed trousers and top and suffering in pain - yes get your violins out - this girl needs sympathy!

It wouldn't have been so bad if a hunky guy had been nearby and I could've used the excuse that I was 'falling for him' but no - just me and general Joe Pleb.  It also wasn't an 'icy day' and I was wearing super sensible boots - I just had clumsyitis - actually I was doing the usual K rushing/stressing thing - nm.

Anyway home safe and sound now to bathe my wounds lol and to online shop for more work trousers.  I can't have an accident doing that at least - or can I? :)

Flush the demons away

We all lose control at times and these present in different ways.  I lost control earlier and was overcome by a compulsion.  We all have demons, mine just decided to present themselves today.  I guess:

The courage to be is the courage to accept oneself, in spite of being unacceptable. ~Paul Tillich

We all have the ability to find courage and not let the BULly wIn.  That's My Initiative Anyway x

HIS CAT :(

My Kitty Prayer

Because I’m only human, it’s sometimes hard to be

the wise, all-knowing creature that his cat expects of me.

And so I wish for special help, to somehow understand

the subtle implications of each meowed command.

Oh, let me not forget that hairs don’t stay on its head

and what I like to call a lap is actually a bed.

The awful aroma from its vomit and poo

And to think I was supposed to, with it, share my loo.

The love for her master of which I can’t compete

Yet I have to put up with her twirling round my feet.

I know that I come second to a ball of fur

Maybe I need to swap my mumbling for that of a purr.

I know it’s really lots to ask but please, oh please, take pity

and though I’m only human, help me like his kitty!

A job worthwhile to make me smile

No, really!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay so I've only been in this job since Monday and so it's early days but so far I am an advert for McDonalds - 'I'm lovin it!'

For many people a job is more than an income – it's an important part of who we are. So a career transition of any sort is one of the most unsettling experiences you can face in your life.  However for me it is so far the best decision I've made.  Choices are the hinges of our destiny and up until now my hinges have been so rusty that the path to destiny has been thwarted.

Good decisions come from experience and experience comes from bad decisions.  I reckon I therefore am super experienced in most aspects of life ;)

At the moment my life is looking up - about time :)



Happiness does happen :)

Brotherly Love x

For once I don't have a broken heart - this time it is my bro who has one and I hate it!  When we were kids I helped my Mom look after him as I was big sis and that was my job:).  When I was little an elastoplast and a 'magic' kiss and hug mended everything.  As we grow past the skinned knee stage most of us experience the shattering and splintering effects of a broken heart caused by lost love - unfortunately no elastoplast or magic rub can take away this kind of pain.

I know my bro will be fine 'cus he's stronger than me and will move on for the sake of his daughter (he's an amazing Dad)!  As a hip-hop fan - I am signing out of this post with a quote from TUPAC the relevance is there:

Lettuce Rejoice ;)

"Lettuce! O Lettuce!
Let us, O let us,
O Lettuce leaves,
O let us leave this tree and eat
Lettuce, O let us. Lettuce leaves!"
Edward Lear, English artist, writer (1812-1888) 'The History of the Seven Families of the Lake Pipple-Popple'

Lettuce - I love it and admit it forms the major part of my daily diet.  I had to put the above quote in my blog 'cus no one seems to 'get' my lettuce fascination, but clearly Mr Lear understood:).  Maybe it takes two literary artists to give such passion into a humble lettuce (okay so I am NOT a literary great) lol!

Beatrix Potter (see another literary great - there has to be a lettuce/writer connection) says that: 'the effect of eating too much lettuce is 'soporific'.  Well there you go - some people say I am always tired 'cus I don't eat enough - the reality is the lettuce is making me sleepy.

This lettuce research (yes I have a sad existence lol) has helped build up ammo to fire at the 'lettuce grumblers' who moan at my daily consumption of the leafy plant.  Well okay the ammo is poor really and hardly going to stop the grumblers - infact just like the lettuce won't stop their tummies grumbling, but it makes me feel good lol.

Well  anyway I have to go 'cos' it's like an 'iceberg' in here - need to turn the heating on - catch ya later x

Abbreviated Nonsense

What is it with abbreviated disorders? Our attention span is short. We’ve all got Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD or OCD or one of these disorders with three letters because we don’t have the time to pronounce the entire disorder. What's that about?

Then as if that wasn't bad enough - we don't abbreviate appropriately! Take OCD - I have a genuine diagnosis so am not taking the wet but genuine sufferers will get this one - 'OCD' it should be 'CDO' that way the letters are in the right order !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God it so winds me up the wrong way !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It got me thinking about abbreviations in general and how stupid they are, or is it just me that is too 'deep'?  S.O.S (Save Our Souls) - God am I stupid but I want my body saved - I will worry about my soul later - S.O.B. (Save Our Body) is way more appropriate don't you reckon - I mean I would be sobbing if I needed rescuing!

A.A (Alcoholics Anonymous) - how the hell are you anonymous unless you attend the group in disguise - I mean the rest of the group will identify you in the least - A.A. (Alcoholics Arise) - isn't that better?  I mean don't you have to stand up and say, 'My name is.....................and I'm an Alcoholic?  God I need a drink after this rant;).

S.A.S (Special Air Service) - huh - clearly a guy came up with that one - should be SEXY ARMY SOLDIERS) yeah ok so I have a uniform thing - and which girl doesn't?

In reality there are loads more - that is just my short account but they are now starting to bug me.  I reckon I need to re-write all abbreviations.  I did come up with a cool one for my last job title.  I was a P.S.A (I will leave that up to your imaginations';)

Feel free to leave suggestions!

T.T.F.N - L.O.L. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!;)

IT'S OVER

As the last day in my current job draws closer (tomorrow) I think back on the past two years...the clients, the courses, the pilot scheme that never ended, the isolation, the stress....and one thought echoes my mind.....

I will miss my work, but not the job.  Choose a job you love and you never have to spend a day at work.  I've been lucky to have held jobs like that but this one sure was NOT like that! In this job I've spent an eternity at work!

We don't have a lot of time on this earth! We weren't meant to spend it this way, miserable in the workplace.  Human beings were not meant to work for 15hours a day and get paid for only 7, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about about mission statements and data.

Work - I aint work shy and am infact a workaholic driven by my perfectionism, but tomorrow I will be celebrating and breathing a final sigh of relief that it's finally over.  I've learned the hard way this year that no job is worth it if it affects your health. 

Don't worry about work - it won't worry about you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FAT DAY

I woke up this morning feeling down and consumed with that familiar dread.  My legs felt all squishy and big; nothing fit right; my proportions were totally off…I knew that feeling.  I’d felt it before.  Today was a fat day.

Today every time I look in the mirror, it makes me sick. I can't remember when I haven't hated the way I looked, and it seems to get worse as I get older. Everything about my body shape is wrong. I feel like such a fat cow, and no one can convince me otherwise. All I want to do is look like all the beautiful girls I see out there. 

In reality I am not huge and can fit in clothes for 11year olds but that makes no difference when my mirror plays a battle of wills with me.  'Mirror Mirror on the wall' - I was never much for Snow White - afterall snow aint white - so why should I believe anything THAT fairytale tells me?  I would like to know where she bought her mirror from though as mine is the evil version.  I guess bargains don't always work out;).  If it wasn't for the fact that breaking the mirror would give me 7 years bad luck, and hey up until now my life aint been lucky so I was kinda hoping for good luck now, I'd smash the bloody thing.

I can do the 'bad hair day' thing but not the 'fat day' thing.  I've just read an article which says that being in a relationship can make you fat.  Christ - are girls not supposed to be happy?  Apparently - the theory goes a bit like this:
You’ve been seeing him for a few months now, and everything’s going great. You feel so comfortable with him. But then you notice something that’s not so comfortable – i.e., the waistband of your sexiest jeans.
It’s official! You’re a victim of relationship pudge!
Is this where you then become a huge disappointment to him and you get dumped?  No - I know there are a lot of guys who aren't shallow and I happen to know one of those really well.  The thing is I don't want 'relationship pudge' - it is so pants (Bridget Jones style).

The remedy was to put on loose fitting PJ's and shout loud, 'I'm having a FAT DAY!!!!!!!!!!!! Apparently this is empowering for positive mind and spirit.  Well I am shouting out via my blog and yep I am wearing my PJ's (the irony is they have bloody cupcakes all over them - hardly motivating:( ), but still feel FAT :(.

Oh well - gonna wash the lettuce for tea.  Lettuce see what tomorrow brings;)

An ode to shy guy :)

M and K x

Shy Guy,

You're the thought that starts each morning
the conclusion to my day.
You are in everything I do
and everything I say.
You're the smile on my face
the glint in my eye.
You're the love inside my heart
and the brightness in my life.
You're the hand that locks with mine,
and the arm upon my back.
My love, my confidant, my friend,
the person on which I can always depend.
You're my silly, mature, caring
thoughtful, bright and honest guy.
The one who holds me tightly
when I need to cry.
You're my strength, my courage,
my support and my critique.
The guy that gives me butterflies,
with love that makes me weak.
You are all I've ever wanted.
You are all I need,
You are all I've ever dreamed of
You are all this to me!

It's my party ........................

Tonight is my party - yeah !!!!!!!!!!!!  No it's not my birthday.  I am celebrating a 'new era' of my life.

I've invited my friends (yeah I know that I aint gonna have invited strangers - well actually it's me so I prob would have lol).  Do you think though that hosts of parties are stupid.  I mean surely being a good host means you want your guests to have a good time.  Well if that was the case wouldn't be better to just send each 'guest' a bottle of champagne and a sexy guy/girl depending on their sexual orientation>just a thought;). 

Well I hope my 'guests' turn up tonight in town (weather is so rubbish here :( ). At every type of party there are two types of guests, ones that want to go home and ones that don't.  I aint worried about that - I know how to have fun up town.

I know it will be a great night 'cus

and my friends mean the world to me.  Part of the reason for tonight is to thank them all for all the support they have given me over the past 8months (they know why).

Anyway - I need to go and eat - apparently that way I am less likely to get wasted tonight and my party can't be a wasted event;)

SICK AND TIRED

It isn't enough that I seem to spend my days rushed off my feet and in a constant race against time to complete the list of never ending tasks, which I seem to lose over and over again.  No - 'someone' has decided I have nothing better to do in life and has found me another chore to complete - 'bug catching'.  I've caught a bug:(.  Following on from my last post - the vomiting has ceased and has now been replaced with nausea :(.  I feel so sick, hence being awake at 2a.m.

An old wives tale suggests drinking a potion of ginger cures nausea.  Now I know why they are 'old wives' - what guy would stay married to someone so 'witch like' to come up with such evil potions?  Mind you I reckon drinking that would make me vomit - so maybe the advice aint so bad but then again I'm not about to try it!

Earlier I had the feeling that the toilet disinfectant companies were sponsoring me as vomiting was the main event of my day.  Maybe that's why it is called bloody 'toilet duck'.  I mean they used to call a doctor a 'quack' (get it - duck, quack?).  Okay so that joke is pants lol but I am smiling (yeah I know I am sad to laugh at my own jokes).  Actually quackery is a derogatory term used to describe the promotion of unproven or fraudulent medical practices.  I reckon I've secretly seen a 'quack' and am suffering the after effects of their potions. 


I've gone for the kill or cure method and have made a strong black coffee.  If there is no further post - it killed me!  I start a new job in just over a weeks time.  I reckon I don't need it.  I can be the acting double for the incredible hulk, afterall I look green with nausea at the moment.  Do you reckon chameleons suffer with constant nausea - I mean they turn green frequently - don't they or are they naturally green?  Oh I have no idea lol but it is the middle of the night and I am ill (well that's my excuse for being thick);)

Well I'm not a chameleon and neither am I the hulk - just a girl whose feeling 'sick' and tired of feeling nauseous.  So I'm off to try and sleep it off - I've given up on the coffee - the smell was too much :(.

Thanksgiving - Taking the Pilgrim ;)

So yesterday was Thanksgiving (typically a US celebration).  I reckon Thanksgiving turkey is the only time the guys from LA see real breasts.  Last night I did the 'Thanksgiving Feast thing' - dug out my US flags and US flag napkins, made thanksgiving place settings, made an American feast and watched US tv shows.  I even wrote down some things I was thankful for.  Why?  Well apart from being sad, I am a US Wannabe.  No idea why - I reckon I am just programmed to be.

For the first time ever though I actually shared the evening with someone who was so nice to humour me and go along with the whole themed event.  Asked whether it was a good event, well I reckon he ate so much he had to let his bathrobe out and me - well my head was down the toilet and has been there on and off for the last 18 hours - so I am struggling to remember what the hell we are thankful for.  On Thanksgiving, Americans acknowledge their dependence - me I am dependent on the toilet bowl and him - loose fitting garments - well thats what we are now dependent on since deciding to be 'thankful'.

Maybe it's best to be bloody ungrateful.  Prior to being 'thankful' I had insides that didn't hurt and my head remained upright.  They reckon that nothing is more honourable than a grateful heart - I guess I aint a girl of honour 'cus right now I have ZERO gratitude especially where 'Thanksgiving' is concerned.

The Pilgrims were the first to celebrate thanksgiving in America, they arrived fleeing religious persecution in their native England (Proud to be English - NOT - hence the US wannabe ;) ).  Anyway - I feel like a Pilgrim right now - as I am sure being persecuted for something, as feel like I've been possessed by some stomach and gut eating zombie thing) - I know I wanted to celebrate the occasion but isn't that taking it a bit too far - reliving the history thing I mean.  Next I will be out sowing seeds for next years harvest.

Today is 'Black Friday' - I reckon I've defined the term - I sure aint out shopping - but maybe my US friends could call by the cleaning aisle in Walmart and pick me up some anti-bacterial toilet cleaner;).  No my black is more of the depressing black - or the death black - I sure don't feel alive.

Next year I am going to do it differently - celebrate like I imagine Albert Einstein to have done (well I am equally as intellectual ;) ).  Next year instead of being 'thankful' I am going to be 'thinkful'.  Let's see what that brings me - with my dangerous imagination - it doesn't bear thinking about lol.

Tired of being Funny;)

'I'm so tired it's not even funny' - I just caught myself thinking this but how stupid is that.  I mean why would  being tired ever be funny?  It's certainly not funny that I ache all over and haven't even the energy to lift a coffee cup nor that my eyelids feel like lead weight.  Tired and funny certainly aint two words that live together - gosh I think dumb things at times - do you reckon> ;)

Miss Understood !!!!!!!!!!!

The top ten things men know about women:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

Says it all - I feel like I am so misunderstood - as all women are !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe it's 'cus I don't come with a manual - maybe I can create a 'K' manual - girls maybe this is the way forward - moaning and whining doesn't work - subtle approach - lol.  Well I have a few weeks before Christmas - I will make one for my Dad and bro lol - won't they be excited when they unwrap their pressie off me lol;)

A new Dawn

To one person - I am the NEW DAWN. 

A new Dawn, a new hope, a new me - well I hope those words are what the 'one' person thinks.  I guess I don't need to EXplain this to that person but felt I needed to put this message on my blog but please EXcuse this post if you don't understand it.

The only thing that bothers me is that I was brought up to believe that: 'the DAWN is not distant, nor is the night starless, love is eternal.'  If the DAWN is not distant then I am doomed and I certainly aint heading for new hope.  LOVE, ETERNAL and DAWN are three words that in my world shouldn't be put together.

Recently I've been taught how to rid negative thoughts by verbally telling them to go away.  So this is my message to DAWN:

Good in bed ;)

My friend telephoned today stressing.  She has a new partner and has planned to sleep with him tonight for the first time.  She's no virgin but is worried that she won't be as 'good' as his ex and will be a huge let down for him.

'Good in bed' - God how life changes - or how the words 'good' and 'bed' used in a sentence changes.  My Mom always said, 'Be a good girl and get to bed.' - Now it's, 'Be a good girl and get to bed - ALONE KAREN!'

I guess my friends worry is common for most girls.  I asked my ex about this when I was with him and he said that guys worry too.  I am the worlds worst worrier as most of you know and worry about worrying, and do worry about being inadequate in every way shape and form to his ex, so I can totally empathise with my friends stress but like I said to her, 'his ex is his ex for a reason!'

My friend asked me if I thought 'I was good in bed'.  What kind of bloody question is that.  If I say, 'yes' then that's bigging me up, if I say, 'no' then that doesn't sound good either.  Maybe I live in a different world to her but I don't bloody have a scoring system by my bed for guys to mark.  I did think I owed her an answer though so thought about it.

I decided that - I AM GOOD IN BED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

or I can at the moment - recent insomnia seems to have passed.  She wasn't impressed with my answer but it's the kind of answer my Mom would like (as bed is just for SLEEPING in !!!!!!!!!!! - well it is in her head what she expects of her daughter (unless I am married!) lol ). 

I guess in reality whilst in bed - no guy has ever said to me, 'good girl - well done' - but then I am glad!  I aint a child - but if no guy has ever said 'good girl' after doing it, does that mean I am not good in bed? 

Isn't life complicated - or is it just me that decides to take a simple question, rip it apart and analyse it to death until I make myself sick with stress - lol (sounds like me).

I guess we are all good at something in bed - maybe you are good at snoring - but hey it's something you're good at.  Therefore be proud to be 'good in bed' - afterall like my friend, your friends probably won't define what they mean by 'are you good in bed' ;) lol

Dress shopping

When the boxes are gone
And I've cleaned up the mess
My fresh start will begin
At my new

AD

 xxxxxx

90 years young

It's my Nan's 90th birthday tomorrow so heading 'home' to celebrate at her huge party:).  They say you know you're getting older when the candles cost more than the cake - actually me lighting 90 candles - the expense would be enormous as I'm likely to cause a bloody inferno.  Shy guy warned me about the way I was holding a lit match the other day lol, apparently I don't hold it correctly - funnily I always thought burnt finger tips were the norm;)

Grandchildren are supposed to be a comfort to you in old age, I reckon I've bought on old age in my Nan - she has had too many years of me lol and then with my brother and cousin - gosh wasn't my Nan blessed - NOT! LOL

My Nan is doing so well - she has more energy and life than me and definately has all her marbles - I lost mine as a kid and never found them or replaced them;).  She does have wrinkles and I have none but her wrinkles are where her smiles have been - my Nan is always super smiley :).

Joking apart - I love my Nan very much and would like to wish her the bestest birthday ever!

A toast to my Nan:

Happy Birthday Nan - here's to a million more birthdays filled with smiles, love and hugs,

Love ya,

K.x

I am one in a million x

OMG - I am a cheat !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As you all know my husband to be (in dream world is USHER) and a previous blog post tells of how I have tickets to see him live in Feb 2011.

Well today I got tickets to see the guy who sings that I am 'one in a million' - his way with words has won my heart. Yes I know I need a reality check and a trip back from dreamland but every girl needs a dream!   So I guess officially I am a cheat but the way I see this situation is:
'When I'm not near the guy
I lust after,
I lust after the guy I'm near.'
So for one night in March, Usher loses to Neyo.  As for getting caught, well there are plenty more fish in the sea and the net that catches me will help me catch another guy - Jason Derulo where are you;) lol :)

Why did the chicken ....... oh who the hell cares?

What on earth is going on with the world?  Even chickens can't cross the road without their motives being questioned.  What is that about?  Does it REALLY matter why the bloody chicken crossed the road?  No one asks why the cow or the pig or the elephant crossed the road - so what is it with interrogating the poor chicken?

Maybe I am unique but I've never seen a chicken cross a road and if I did - I aint about to ask it what the hell it thinks it's doing!

I think we should group together and ban the 'WHY DID THE CHICKEN' questions - I'm sure you wouldn't like being asked constantly why you were crossing the road.  I just find it all a little EGGstoardinary;)

My love is a drug

My name is K and I am addicted to COFFEE.  Yes I've finally admitted it, strong, black, unsweetened coffee is my weakness.  In fact I make it so strong that it even wakes my neighbours up;). I was completing a quiz the other day and one question asked whether I would be going to heaven or hell - well which place has java?  - that's the place I am heading - irrespective if I'm good or bad.  Actually I am angelic (or so they say) so I guess heaven is the place for me but hey - no java and my mood is hellish lol.

At work I seem to be making more and more cups of coffee - they don't realise that the reason is:

I had to have blood tests last week - I swear my blood is brown now - it's so bad.  Well Christmas is coming up - turkey season - so maybe I will go 'cold turkey' at the end of December - oops best take the coffee machine off my pressie wish list :(

x

Life is so sparkly;)

This evening I experienced HAPPINESS by achieving all 3 essentials.  I went to a firework display.  Yes you're probably thinking, 'God it doesn't take much to make her happy' ;) but seriously it covered all 3 areas:

1:  Something to do - well it was an event that I went to and thus 'something that I was doing'

2: Something to love - Sometimes love comes softly and other time it comes with fireworks.  To me the 'firework' connection sends the image of a love that is full of colour, makes your heart pound and your eyes sparkle and is full of awe and wow (just like a firework).  When love happens at a firework display, it is the most perfect love ever and it was clear that there were many happy couples out this evening caught up in romance;)

3: Something to hope for - have you ever wished upon a star?  I have and do it all the time.  The star shaped patterns that illuminated the sky gave the perfect opportunity to make those wishes and as the firework stars burned out, so was the wish carried off and hope floated away, (no I haven't been drinking lol - I am just a hopeless romantic who has experienced an enchanting evening that took me back to happy childhood memories).

I guess sometimes you have to acknowledge that the universe is a celebration and you are spectator contemplating the splendour and awe.

Well I had best get off for now and perform my own 'firework' duties, light up someones life and make them sparkle and whizz or knowing me I will be so explosive with chat that they wish I was tied to a rocket and orbiting far away from them;) lol

Black and White is clearly right?

I love my parents very much but today realised that they are awol from 'Pleasantville'.  For those of you who don't know, 'Pleasantville' is a thoroughly post-modern film. In fact, it is not just an expression of post-modern values, it champions post-modern values. It depicts people who hold to classical virtues as shallow, one-dimensional, two-colored, black and white, empty, abusive kinds of people. Pleasantville folks are the kind who get oppressive if their moral worldview is challenged by something really subversive, like sex--as if Christians have no healthy interest in sex, or art, or literature.

Neither parent is shallow nor empty or abusive but I hate to say, they are 'behind the times' in matters of 'guy meets girl' things.

I swear I have done the 'colored thing' to the extreme and am probably illuminating like a belisha beacon in their world.  I wouldn't mind but although not innocent by any means I am NOT a character of negative reputation.

Ironically we were the last in the street to obtain a colour tv - it figures as they love 'black and white' world - maybe this is why I am a 'black and white' thinker?  I clearly am a rainbow rebel - maybe my world is a bag of skittles - taste the rainbow and all that;)

Is popularity the way forward?

So rubbish - in 4 weeks time I am going to be jobless due to redundancy (any bosses reading this - I come with excellent references - well most people make the best of a bad job, me I make the best job bad;) ).

Anyway, pending drop in monetary funds got me thinking - 'If the cost of living is so high, why is it still popular?' I really just don't get life.  Why are so many of us conforming to popular fads?

Help me out with this one?

The Perfect Gift

This evening I was surprised with the most perfect gift ever.  I was given a compilation CD of music with songs that bore a connection to me.  No one has ever done anything like that for me before.  It made my day, evening, everything.

I guess at the moment this is the most perfect gift but for a girl that lives in a world in which she still believes in fairytales, she waits for THE most perfect gift:

Two clowns short of a circus

'Shy Guy' and I have totally different jobs but today both found out via sms that we were BORED at work.  Between you and I maybe 'shy guy's' shyness is detrimental to his fun at work - well there aint an excuse for me then as I'm never quiet.

Anyway - my solution was that we should both run away together and join the circus.  The response was something on the lines of, 'there's no need to join the circus when there's clowns like you around!'  Funny - NOT - what 'shy guy' doesn't realise is that the circus would welcome him as a 'trained seal'.

Afterall, isn't that what all guys are once girls happen to them;) lol

I don't know today a life under the big top seemed perfect but then maybe I am already living the circus life. I reckon I'd be a great juggler - afterall I currently juggle crisis after crisis so am already a bloody expert.  I've also had plenty of experience in getting the monkey off my back but then realising the circus aint left town so maybe and seem to spend most of the time with pie on my face.  Maybe therefore, work is my escape - or maybe its NOT the circus I should run away to but the convent instead;)

Amen;)

I run like a girl, so try to keep up!

Despite still suffering a foot injury, I've taken up running again to try and look good.  Yes I realise that it will take more than a run for that to be achieved but hey isn't exercise the poor persons plastic surgery?

I told my friend that I had started running again.  She said, K - your exercise is RUNNING your mouth, PUSHING your luck and JUMPING to conclusions - charming - NOT;).  The thing is although I hate running - the gym is so not my thing as I don't like being surrounded by dumb bells, especially the male kind.  On saying that running is a mental sport and I guess I am a little insane (a little I said !!!!!!!!!! ).

One positive thing about running though is runners make the best girlfriends - catch me if you can;)

Typical Guy

Clearly written by a guy.  I am going to need to attend interviews soon - interviews definately = new wardrobe, so in Henrys head that clearly isnt the right thing to do - he obviously hasn't attended interviews but then he was an anarchist so probably considered them undesirable and unnecessary!

I guess it goes for weddings, a bride is supposed to wear what?  I mean if a bride should beware of marriage because it involves new clothes then what should she put on?  I'd be more worried about how much the divorce will cost than the new dress she is wearing;)

Seriously - some quotes are total pants - this one is a prime example.  Clearly this guy had a limited wardrobe of clothing.  Imagine dating him, parties would be a dread as no new outfit would be permitted. 

Well I am gonna buy a new interview outfit.  If I feel confident in what I am wearing then I am sure that anything old Henry throws at me, I can deal with - afterall, its allbecauseiamagirl x

Let me cross the road in peace:)

I know my maths skills are pants but I hate it when people put 2+2 together and make 5, especially when their thoughts are directed at what they presume I  am thinking or doing.  'Guilty' of no crime is often what I am punished for and it seems to continue.  wHEN you decide things about me, please use facts and not EGGzamples of preconceived ideas that spring into your mind.  I am too nice to tell you to 'CLUCK off' but I hate being judged and wrongly accused.

Please ask me, rather than pre-judge me:)

K in smurfdom

Just lately I've been feeling 'blue' so decided to catch up with my blue buddies.  Afterall, they reckon that when you are feeling 'down' you should spend time with buddies:), so therefore time in Smurfdom is perfect therapy, them being blue and that:)

According to http://bluebuddies.com/smurf_fun/smurf_personality_test/smurf_personality_test.htm, I am the smurf below - my friends would totally agree with this.






Girlies tend to 'eat' choccie and cake when feeling 'down' and smurfs understand that:

as only true friends can.  I reckon Smurfdom would be the perfect place for me as I am a total goody-goody;)  I may not eat cake but I reckon I'd look cool in the white hat - afterall,

you can't deny my sexy smile in K style (well there is one person that can't) - he wouldn't cope in Smurfdom though as lives in Mario land:)

Have you seen the film, 'Pleasantville':

in which the residents change from black and white to colour when they violate 'paint rules'.  I kinda reckon that if 'shy guy' came to Smurdom when I was there, I wouldn't stay 'blue' for long and instead would be rainbow coloured - I'll leave you to work out why;) lol

EXplanation

Okay - so it was last night and I was feeling alright - all ready to pop lock and drop down town with my hip-hop posse (ok so caught a cab and the 'posse' was just one cool dancer).  Then whilst out, trying to make a good impression with new friends (despite practically accusing the cab driver of plotting to blow me up - don't ask), along come the EX-GIRLFRIEND !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The initial contact that is supposed to be intimidating and make me feel guilty and poke her in the eye with accuracy and menace like an EXocet missile, and hop the nearest fence didn't happen. I know it was halloween but the scary glances and the witches covern that was going on amongst her group of friends clearly aimed my way was like 'so mote it be !!!!!!!!!! (to my super bessie friend who knows what that means lol!  I didn't react.

Why? 'allbecauseiamagirl' - I set an EXample of how girlies should behave and so EXcluded her from my thoughts.  My niceness was EXceptional and at the end of the day I was out to have a blast and it was not going to be me making the first EXit.

The night proceeded and I had the best time ever with no EXplosions from the covern of hubble, bubble and trouble and left EX-hausted or did she leave EX-hausted as her relationship has clearly - EXPIRED !!!!!!!!!!!

My Perfect Match

Lighting a candle successfully is an important skill that can easily be exercised with care to ensure safety. You can reduce the risks associated with lighting a candle by observing some basic precautions when lighting candles.

1

Obtain a box of safety matches. These matches are longer than ordinary matches and will reduce the risk of burning yourself.

Okay - as usual I may know what I am supposed to do but clearly have a problem with 'rules'. I am currently playing a great game of burn my fingers with a naked flame, in a poor attempt at lighting the candles in my home.  It doesn't matter how I hold the match, the flame is ALWAYS on a mission to inflict pain on me as it creeps up the wood faster than lightening toward my skin.

Candles are supposed to be relaxing.  Yeah right - I am super stressed and in agony at just lighting them.  I do have a fancy gas propelled, candle lighter but no, I make it my mission to have a daily battle with a naked flame.

I curse and swear under my breath and of course it is ALWAYS the fault of the 'match', never me.  However, on Saturday evening, a smug guy took pleasure in the thing that guys do so well, 'try and look better than us girls'.  I was subjected to the patronising, "see this is how you light a candle" spiel.  I wouldn't have minded but his candles were lit in seconds in a graceful display of finger control and minus the, 'ow - shit -' that happens when I attempt to light a candle.  Then, as only guys can, he proceeded to tell me that I needed 'safety matches' with long handles and I would have my 'perfect match'.

You see my idea of a 'perfect match' clearly aint his, mine is the guy meets girl kind.  My Mom (yes my poor Mom is mentioned again - for her great wisdom she imparts on me) always said, 'The best way to find your perfect match is to meet love halfway.'  There you go, that's why I use short matches, ('half'way to perfect)!  See this guy clearly doesnt know anything - to ignite the perfect 'flame' you need to meet 'half-way' and the shorter the distance, the nearer you are to the goal.

I guess in life my inner flame has recently died - well that is until I met some new friends, including 'flame' guy and an encounter with these people has rekindled my inner spirit.  So maybe that is the 'perfect match' - the person that can take my inner light and blow it into a flame and not the wooden spill type.  Hopefully there will be less chance of my uttering, 'ouch' and 'shit' with this ''perfect match'.  As for the candles, well maybe I'm after a different flame;)